


Hands off the Merchandise

by ShibaScarf



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Body Pillow, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 15:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11649570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShibaScarf/pseuds/ShibaScarf
Summary: “You have a body pillow?!” Ted said, laughing.  “Like, one of those anime body pillows?”





	Hands off the Merchandise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chipushit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chipushit/gifts).



> Based on this piece of art, which called to me.  
> http://lactonic.tumblr.com/post/157624568879/d-dont-look-at-me

“They’re here,” Booster announced, barging into the room with an armful of boxes. 

Ted took his feet off the desk and swiveled his chair away from the monitors.

“What’s here?” he asked, raising one eyebrow as Booster struggled to find room for everything in the cramped closet that served as the monitor duty office.

“Do you remember,” Booster said, apparently choosing to answer Ted’s question in the most roundabout way possible, “a couple months ago?”

“You’re gonna have to be more specific than that,” Ted said.

“You were admiring my Booster Gold brand snuggie,” Booster said, setting down the last of the boxes and now starting to stack them in order of size. 

“I remember ridiculing your Booster Gold branded sleeve-blanket, yes,” Ted said slowly. 

“And you said,” Booster continued, “and I quote: ‘Oh man, think about all the money we could make off of Blue and Gold merch.’”

“Sounds like me,” Ted agreed.

“And I said, ‘Hey, I have a guy for licensing.  He can send us some prototypes if you’re interested,’” Booster said eagerly.

“To which I responded,” Ted said, now beginning to remember the conversation, “by changing the subject, assuming we were joking.”

“We were?” Boosters said, looking surprised and a little guilty.  “I mean, you were?  Because I wasn’t.”

“Of course you weren’t,” Ted groaned.  “And now you have boxes full of Blue and Gold prototype licensed merchandise.”

They both stared solemnly at the boxes for a moment.

“So, you don’t want to sell Blue and Gold shirts?” Boosters clarified.

“I sort of promised myself after Kooey Kooey Kooey that I wouldn’t try to sell anything superhero related ever again,” Ted said, reluctantly.  “Especially not with my name attached.”

“I’ll call my guy and let him know the whole thing’s canceled,” Booster sighed.

 

But, as it turned out, Booster still got to keep the prototypes, because Ted would see him around the Watchtower drinking from Blue and Gold mugs or wearing a Blue and Gold fanclub t-shirt.  The whole thing was pretty ridiculous, especially because the Blue Beetle images on everything looked photoshopped to hell.

“They gave us matching chins,” he said glumly one day, pointing at Booster’s thermos.

Booster stopped slurping miso soup from it and looked at the image, where the two of them were shooting a matching thumbs up.

“Huh,” was all the response he could give.  “Yeah, I liked all the pieces that were hand-drawn a lot better.”

“I haven’t seen any of those,” Ted said.  “What were those for?”

“Oh, uh…” Booster trailed off, thinking.  “A mousepad?  Some phone charms, maybe?”

“Jesus, you ordered way too much,” Ted grumbled, and then they were arguing about the merits of quantity or quality when it came to merchandising.

 

One mid-afternoon, Ted found that he had misplaced his stimming keychain, so he hunted around the Watchtower for a bit before realizing he must have left it in Booster’s quarters.  He made his way down there and knocked on the door.

It was a longer time than usual before Booster opened the door.  He only opened it enough to stick his face out.

“Taking a nap?” Ted asked, tilting his head.

Booster nodded, eyes still heavy with sleep.  His hair was uncharacteristically messy.

“I’ll be quick,” Ted said.  “I left my keychain in your room.”

“Oh,” Booster said, rubbing at his eyes.  “Okay, give me one sec.  I’ll look for it real quick.”

“Nah, I think I know right where it is,” Ted said, moving to open the door a little wider.  “I’ll just grab it and you can go back to sleep.”

Booster’s grip on the door tightened, making it so that Ted couldn’t push it open any further. 

“No, I can do it,” Booster said, looking a little guilty.

“What are you hiding in there?” Ted asked, intrigued. 

“Nothing!”  Booster protested, but Ted was too damn curious for his own good, so he put his weight into the door and pushed past Booster.

His fidget keychain was exactly where he thought it would be, resting on the desk in the corner. 

Of more pressing concern, however, was the object laying in Booster’s bed.

“You have a body pillow?!” Ted said, laughing.  “Like, one of those anime body pillows?”

“Nngh,” Booster said, rubbing his forehead and looking even more tired than before.

Ted moved closer to take a look at whatever ‘waifu’ Booster had chosen, because there was no way in hell he wasn’t going to milk this one for everything it was worth—

It was a Blue Beetle body pillow.

Ted stared at it.

The body pillow stared back at him.  It was a drawn image, not sexual in the least, of the Blue Beetle smiling benignly, hand on hips.  He looked… soft was probably the right word?  Rounded.  Non-threatening.

Chubby.

“I’m going back to bed,” Booster groaned.  Ted watched, bewildered, as he climbed back onto the sheets and wrapped his arms around the pillow.  “Make fun of me later, okay?”  He was snoring within seconds.

Ted took his keychain and left.

 

“Later” came that evening, as they were all sent out to some island in the middle of the Indian Ocean.  Booster sat in the copilot’s seat as Ted flew the Bug out to the rendezvous point.

He fiddled with the dials for the air conditioning, pointedly not making eye contact with Ted.

“So…” Ted said.  “About earlier.”

Booster groaned and thumped his head backwards against the seat.

“Was that one of the prototypes?” Ted asked, innocently.

“Shut up.  Yes.  Please shut up,” Booster said, sullenly.  “It’s comfortable.  I like to fall asleep holding something.”

“Well, if you like that, you should try the real thing,” Ted said, laughing.  “It comes with built-in body heat.  Very snuggly.”

“You’re joking,” Booster said, “but that sounds cozy as hell.”  He crossed his arms.

“Maybe I’m not joking,” Ted said, catching Booster’s eyes for just a moment before turning back to the Bug’s controls.

“Oh,” Booster said, startled.

“Is there a Booster version of that pillow?” Ted asked.

“It’s double-sided,” Booster admitted.  “But I like the Blue side better.  Shut up,” he added, as Ted began to laugh.  “Shut _up!_ ”

 

As Booster later found out, the “real thing” also snored terribly.  He couldn’t find it in himself to mind.


End file.
